I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
