have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
