Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
