How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
