dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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