oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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