Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
