Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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