There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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