There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This toilet bowl is my home.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
