somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
