Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
