how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
