I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
