I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
