Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
