Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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