turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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