We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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