I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize