Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
