i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
