I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
