I hate all girls vehemently.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
