Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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