i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Two words: blizzard sex
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize