his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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