does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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