No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
