He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize