Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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