Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
