I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
there is puke in my bra ... again
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