I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
