Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
