"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
