also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
