So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
