return my video game
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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