this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
