Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
