angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
