We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
