i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
