Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
