You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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