Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
