Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
