And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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