i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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