Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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