Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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