Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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