my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
