if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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