I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
