I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize