Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
