he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
