It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
