Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
