I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
