I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize