Where is the hickey?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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