I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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